“LÁGRIMAS DE UVA SPOTTED AGAIN — FONTANA RESIDENTS REPORT TEARS IN THE STREETS”
Pulled from: The Hemet Gazette, Society Pages, September 12th (Year Unlisted)
Filed by: Special Correspondent, Bellamy
It began, as most things in the Inland Empire do, with the heat.
Too hot for greasepaint, too hot for laughter. But in a corner lot behind an abandoned swap meet in Rialto, he appeared: Lágrimas de Uva, the Clown Who Cannot Stop Crying.
Locals whispered that he had been practicing his expressions in a broken vanity mirror all afternoon, shifting from grin to grimace to grin again until the blue tears rolled. One teenager said they saw him rehearsing “clown emotions” to his own reflection as if auditioning for a part only he could play. Another swore he was only waiting for the Del Taco to open.
By the time dusk came, his face was streaked — sweat, paint, and those famous tears the color of grapes crushed under the Inland sun.
WHO IS HE, REALLY?
Authorities in Hemet claim his legal name is David Cortes, last known address somewhere between Ontario and San Bernardino. Friends describe him as “funny, nervous, but excited,” a man who has always loved the idea of clowns more than the reality of daily life.
And yet when the paint goes on, he is no longer David. He is Payaso. He is Spectacle. He is Lágrimas de Uva.
AUDIENCE TESTIMONIES (Collected at Hemet Fairgrounds)
“He laughed so hard I thought he’d choke — then he sobbed. And then we all started laughing, too. I’m still not sure what was funny.” – Witness, Moreno Valley
“I bought a ticket just to see if the rumors about the blue stains were true. My white blouse will never recover.” – Shopper, Redlands
“He kept looking in a mirror he carried with him, like he didn’t believe his own face.” – Child, Perris
EDITORIAL NOTE
The Inland Empire breeds its own legends. In Hemet, they say you can still hear his laugh echo after the carnival leaves town. In San Bernardino, they say if you follow the blue streaks down the gutter after a rain, you’ll find him there, clutching a mirror, rehearsing the face he never gets right.
No refunds. No explanations. Blue stains guaranteed.
Filed by Bellamy. Case file no. 7E-BLUE-TEAR. Archives: Box 14, Hemet.